What am I seeing...
I like this line from a movie..."I see you"...we all want to be seen.
There's also a word in Suswati, sawubona, that is a greeting, but basically means the same thing...I see you, you are noticed.
Being ministers of the gospel, it matters what I'm seeing...who I'm noticing.
A good question we discussed recently in Bible study, 'what am I doing in ministry that is for God, and what is not'. I see areas where God has not been my full focus, I have been...when I don't want to engage with people, I realize I'm saying to God, 'you are not my focus, I am'.
I was struck recently with the word hospital anchored in the word hospitality. At times I haven't wanted to be very hospitable and yet that's a strong gifting of mine. God brings people into my life to serve, love and care for...using me in His "hospital". I have to see the people...I have to be willing to ask Him what's needed...just like a doctor or nurse would ask. Sometimes I don't want to see, I want to do what I want to do!
Reading through encouraging words written for me, I know it's who I am...the DNA God has passed down to me. It's who He created me to be, how He wants to live in and through me. When my eyes are on me, I'm not in a position to see what God is wanting, to join Him.
Yes, there's a balance of being poured into so I can pour out. The bottom line is, it's my choice...it's a continual choice. My cry is for the Father to change my heart, draw my eyes to Him...not be stuck on me...see what He sees. It helps to confess where my eyes have been focused, and then get on with choosing to join God.